Like millions of women worldwide, I was also a Sex and the
City groupie. I never missed an episode. Through all the gossip about their sex lives
or lack thereof, finding new ways how to deal with men, incredible and not so incredible
fashion, making the cosmopolitan cocktail famous and putting Manolo Blahnik on
the map, SATC was just a show, women could identify with. It’s been almost 10 years since the shittiest
breakup in the universe was aired on Sex and the City. You remember the final season, season 6 episode 7 (Post-it
always sticks twice) when the douchebag
(Jack Burger) Carrie was just talking to her BFF’s about ending it with him
(unbeknown to him) beat her to the punch by leaving in the middle of night
leaving only a seven word post-it, “ I am sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.”
Yeah I know its fiction, but for any die-hard SATC fan you
could not help but feel something when Carrie whacked that vase of flowers to
the floor after she discovered the post-it.
Most of us have been there. Whether on a post-it, (or these days via text message, email– both are
equally gross) a phone call or *gasp* in person being told our love partner
wants out is one of the scariest and heartbreaking moments in our lives, my opinion.
It’s been one week and I keep replaying the conversation. (mine was in person and not a seven word) I can’t
be with you right now. I have so many
things to sort out. I don’t have the
time for a relationship; I don’t know when this dark cloud that I am battling
with will be over, so it won’t be fair of me to ask you to wait. You have to also live your life, be happy,
and, and, and. I am amazed at how a few
unassuming sentences can have such a profound impact on my life. In minutes my two and half years of happiness
with my guy disappeared right before my eyes.
I bargained, I cried, I begged to no avail. (Yeah we do become pathetic
when the guy you love, out of the blue dumps you – You immediately go in to
survival mode) How can something that I thought was so special come to a
screeching halt? How does a person whom
you have spoken to every day for the past two and a half years suddenly become almost
heartless? Like you never were close.
How long has he known that he wanted to leave me? How long did he know that I was not part of
his future plans? Was he all along just living a lie with me, pretending? Does
he still love me? Did he ever love me?
Was I the fool inlove?
I might never know all the answers to the questions, so
maybe I should start asking myself some new ones. Was I as happy with him as I thought? Do I resent
him for leading me on, giving me hope? Can I forgive him for what he has put me
through? Do I still love him? Did I ever love him? But even these questions are
difficult to answer (well except for the last two, I obviously have always and
still do love him.) Hopefully throughout this journey of piecing my broken
heart together, I will be able to answer all the questions fully and honestly.
For now I should just stick to the easy questions, do I need
a new pair shoes? Yes! Should I buy the
Sex and the City series for my girlie collection? Hell Yes!! Should I really have cosmopolitan number 4? Abso-freaking-lutely!!!
Cheers
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