Let Today be Today

Hi yall,

A Reminder from me to you.
Today is Today.  Not yesterday.  Not last week. Not one year ago.  Let this moment be everything its trying to be and stop crowding it with yesterday’s nonsense. Do not carry the burden of yesterday today.  Let today be today and let yesterday keep all of yesterday's Feelings, Heartbreaks, Exes, Mistakes, Insecurities, Failures, Regrets and Losses. We sure as hell  don’t have to hold on to the pain of the past.  We simply dont. It weighs you the hell down!

Our scars and bruises from our yesterdays need not to be the pain of today, but instead let it be manifestations of your strength. Yes!  Instead lets open our hands and let it fall without any regret, or apologies at all.  Let go and liberate yourself positively from your yesterdays.  The only thing we can bring from yesterday is the lessons they taught us. We can open our hands and let it fall without any pomp, circumstance or apologies at all.  The only thing we can bring from yesterday is the lessons they taught us.

Dont get me wrong your past will always be a part of you.  But it does not have to be who and what you are today and who you will be tomorrow because transforming and assessing  our lives should always be ongoing. And whilst you at it don’t crowd today with tomorrow either! Just let Today be Today.

Ciao
Nols

Life will break Me, I have to remind myself of this all the time

Hi  yall

Its been so long since I've been here and write about my journey and feelings  What I can say for sure is the journey has definitely not been smooth.  Sometimes it was so rough on the emotions that throwing in the towel seemed like the only option but I remain hopeful in my quest to be happy. In the words of  Louise Erdrich

Life will break you. Nobody can protect me from that and living alone wont either, for solitude will also break  me with its yearning. I have to love. I have to feel. Its the reason I am here on earth. I am here to risk my heart. I am here to be swallowed up. And when it is that I am broken, or betrayed, or left or hurt, or death brushes near.  I will let myself sit by the apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around me in heaps, wasting away their sweetness.  And I will tell myself I tasted as many as I could.

It was not in vain.

Later.

Nols

I wanted answers yet did not get it...

"He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg"-Chinese Proverb

I can sometimes be very impulsive.  Especially when it comes to my relationships. I don’t  want to tiptoe around matters of the heart. They say being vulnerable means we care, and you have to care to go after what you want.  That’s one thing about me, I am not worried about making a fool or putting myself out there, when it comes to love. If I have to get in my car and drive to where you are to get answers,  I will.  I am proud to say I go after the one I love.  I am not the type of person to sit back, relax and hope that it comes to me. 

Or hope by a stroke of luck, everything will be OK. No, if I want you – it’s noticeable.  If I don’t you’re well aware, because I would not even waste a minute of my time on you.  I am not going to beat around the bush.  I don’t have time to play or pretend. Hell no, time waits for no man, neither does a good woman!  I don't care to be in an awkward situation.  I need answers.  I am not going to play guessing games.  I'm not a little kid anymore.  If I want something, I'm going for it.  At least I have the courage to be real with my feelings even if someone thinks, I'm completely nuts for being honest and putting myself out there.  I don't want to sit and wonder what if, when I rather can ask myself what now.

Ciao

Noly

Don’t be a Woman that needs a Man, be a Woman a Man needs..

.A man needs a woman who can keep her cool.  He does not want to come home from a long day of work only to be nagged about all his wrongdoings.  A man wants his woman to be his safe place to fall, his rock, his source of stability.  He needs her to show him persistence in patience, love and loyalty. Since they're little boys, men are taught to be tough guys.  They're taught to provide, to protect.  A man is not supposed to cry.  Whenever they get knocked down they're supposed to get right back up.  As a woman you have to break down these wall for your man and let him know when it comes to you that he is safe.  Let him know its okay to feel defeated at times, because you'll be thee pushing him to the finish line.  Let him know its okay to feel weak or sick because you'll be there to help him feel better.  Let him know its okay when the whole world is against him, because you'll be there right by his side because the love you have for him is unconditional.  That's what a man needs.  A woman who plants seeds but does force growth.  A nurturer.  A companion.  And an inspiration to be better.

I want to share something my late fiance wrote to me a month before he tragically passed away. I've kept this email for the past 8 years & 9 months.  Same font, can you believe?  My constant reminder when some guy comes along and wants to chip away at my worthiness.  This always keeps me moving forward because I am that woman a man needs.

Nolene - I know this has been a hard year for you but I just want you to

know I love you. You're indeed the very best. With you, by my side, I

can do the impossible because your LOVE is REAL. You have made me a

stronger happier person, just by being with you. I love you so much.

 Mbulelo aka S'be

Ciao 

Noly

Letting Go

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow…if we let them, and we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true…But I know I’m who I am today because I knew you. Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? But because I knew you…I have been changed for good.”~From the musical, Wicked


What I know for sure is; We don't meet people by accident.  They are meant to cross our path for a reason.  Sometimes people come in your life and from the onset you know they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose. Sometimes someone comes into your life and wreak total mayhem on life as you know it…they break your heart…tear your life upside down…shake rattle and roll you awake…force you to grow, to learn…make you long for something more…leave you questioning everything you’ve known before…love you, hurt you, challenge you, confuse you, stir you, enlighten you, refine you, and CHANGE you. And some people come into your life just to teach you how to let go.

The lessons they bring with them stick around long after they leave.  All I know is we should be grateful for these encounters, even if ultimately our paths diverge; because once the dust has settled a different, better version of you will emerge.

Thanks Leo, for coming into my life!  

Ciao

Noly

Everything is temporary

We always seem to forget that everything is so temporary.  I think part of the reason why we sometimes hold on to something so tight, is because we fear, something so great won’t happen again.We always seem to forget that everything is so temporary. .  I mean yeah ok, sometimes it crosses our minds once in a while and we might actually do something daring and out of our comfort zone but when that moment passes, it gets stored away in the back of our minds we continue living our lives as if there are plenty of tomorrows waiting for us.  We postpone feelings and words for another day, another week, another month, another year.  Everything is temporary. Forever is an empty promise!!!  And the only constant is change. 

Feeling Blue

Today was one of those days I wish I had an on/off/timeout button stored somewhere on my body.  A magic button I can push when everything becomes too much, unbearable and you feel like your whole being is ripped apart into a thousand pieces.  But whoops reality check there is nothing like that.  I have to put on my big girl panties and soldier on and  hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Everything is temporary. This philosophy does not make life easier, but all I know that it lessens the blow when things don’t go quite the way you expect them to.

Ciao

Noly

To a new you!

Yáll

January 2015 is gone!!! Can you believe?  I hope so far it’s been a happy jolly ride for all.  And if not, well we still got 11 more months to try and get it right.  Every New Year, we have this protracted list of New Year’s resolutions or for some My Goals and Aspirations.  This year I decided away with all that.  The only thing I want to do this year is to focus on MYSELF.  I know it might sound self-centred but I feel I owe it to myself to take better care of me, my being, to improve myself.  I am not trying to re-invent myself,  I need to figure out who I am, vs who I want to be vs who I don’t want to be.

You see that should keep me pretty occupied for the year because we all know the Journey of the Self is a never ending one. So on my journey of self-discovery I stumbled upon a website where I read this piece and it strike a chord within me and I just had to share it with you all

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.  To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.  To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only the best, and to expect only the best.  To be just enthusiastic about the success of others as your are about your own

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievement of the future.  To wear a cheerfull countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.  To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in the loud words but great deeds.  To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as your are true to the best that is in you.

-Christian D. Lars Larson

I aim for all of the above…

Cheers to a better ME!!

Noly